Pop-Up Workshop 3 - Silent Treatment

COUNTERINTUITIVE EXPRESSING MINDSET 3: Congruent over Collected

The fastest way to lose trust is to keep calm and carry on. Exchange your “I’m fine” for “Here’s what’s actually going on” and prevent unnecessary misunderstanding.

THE BIG TAKEAWAY

Before you decide to share something, check your “traffic light”:

• Green Light: share away!
• Yellow Light: take a breath. If it feels fine, relax your jaw and share. If it doesn’t feel fine, then it’s a Red Light.
• Red Light: it’s totally okay not to share!

Journal Prompts

How would you act and show up if you did not have to always appear “calm”, “composed”, or “polished”?

What would your relationships look and feel like if you gave yourself permission to be imperfect?

Think of a time you felt the need to conceal or suppress your emotions. If you were to share how you really felt, how might that have changed the outcome?

Key Q&A Insights

As people, you come across as confident and happy. How long did it take you to get there?

I’d say, I think of it as compounding. Interestingly enough, it gets faster rather than a linear one.

I really love this quote by Rumi: “Our task is not to find love, but to eliminate all our barriers to love.” Some of us have retained as a child, the ability to feel joy and explore that. But some of us have that just covered in rubble that we have to clear first.

A lot of my early inner work had more to do with first learning emotional literacy. Because if you can’t feel in one area, then you can’t feel in all other areas.

What is attributable to my parents? What is attributable to my own decisions, and what can I do in that process?

It’s a very sudden transformation that is not sudden at all - the realization that you’re there in some way is sudden, so it’s very un-intuitive.