Tending to the Sick

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Dear Friends,

Tending to the Sick

For chaplaincy school we are required to submit 1 essay per month (it really is like a Buddhist Write of Passage…) This month we were given a story from the Buddha’s time as a writing prompt. In short, the Buddha and his attendant Ananda encountered a sick monk who was left by himself, covered in his excrements. The Buddha and Ananda washed the monk tenderly and carried him to a bed. Then they gathered the monk’s community and asked:

“Why not? Whey do the monks not take care of him?”

*“That brother is useless to the order of monks, Lord. That is why the monks do not take care of him.” *

“Monks, you have no mother and no father to take care of you. If you will not take care of each other, who else will do so? Monks, those who would attend to me, let them attend to the sick.”

An Exercise in Reflective Writing

This Friday we had our first chaplaincy writing workshop, where we learned Reflective Writing (a gentler alternative to CrossFit Writing, perhaps…) The idea is that we alternate between writing and meditation, with some prompts that we can sit with while we meditate. (The idea is that we aren’t “consciously” thinking of the answer to the questions, but allowing our mind to answer them for us.)

I don’t believe I am doing the prompts/practice justice as I am a bit sick today myself and writing is a bit challenging, but…exercising self-compassion here and letting a less-than-impressive draft go!

What moments/words stood out to you?

The word “useless” stood out to me in the story, because it mirrors the language I use internally to describe myself at times. The story also reminds me of my dad and how my mom has to take care of his bathroom needs because of his stroke.

What were you drawn to/what did you pull away from?

I was drawn to how the story included Ananda, who was historically the “activist” among the Buddha’s disciples and likely the person who even noticed the monk was sick and neglected. I pulled away from the sense of coldness and disregard from the monk’s community, because it made me think about when I am steeled to protect myself from mental anguish.

Did this person/story remind you of anyone?

I am reminded of Mahesh, who is our contact for the Stanford Hospital’s chaplaincy volunteer program. He spoke to us about the program and how he builds his spiritual care capacity through rituals and self-compassion before stepping into the hospital.

In the story the Buddha asked the monastic community to care for one another as much as they care for him, and I believe this implies the incorporation of care into spiritual practice.

What challenged your beliefs?

The story did not challenge my beliefs, though there is an internal self-limiting belief I still possess around spiritual care…the premise of me being able to “grow” such a capacity still feels unproven. Though in a recent conversation with a friend, we noted that I have a tendency to slip into a twisted “scientist” mode…where I don’t “believe” in my capability to do something until it is done exactly as specified. This seems to be less-than-optimal for kindness and compassion towards oneself, if I am beseeched by doubt until “proven!”

What do you wish you had known more about?

I wish we can know more about what the monk’s community defined as “useless”—was he not contributing to the community? A lousy practitioner? Perhaps it should not matter, but the Buddha had laid down a complex set of rules for monastics (vinaya) that addressed so many fine points of conduct, that I wondered what the monk did that would warrant such neglect. It’s possible this story predates the vinaya though. I also wonder if the monk’s community changed their ways after admonishment from the Buddha.

What new questions/learnings arise for you?

How can I trust that my own capacity to care for others can be expanded?

How can I judge myself/others less in “usefulness”?

I’m taking the prompts above and refining them for non-chaplaincy audiences to introspect. As you can see here the above prompts generated some points of interest, but a reverse-outline (summarizing points and rewriting the draft again) is necessary to make the essay coherent.

Warm Wishes,

Christin