Open Heart, Open Mind, Open Mouth - Engaging the Practice of Skillful Speech

https://www.sati.org/sati-center-classes/open-heart-open-mind-open-mouth-engaging-the-practice-of-skillful-speech/

Teachers: David Lorey, Ying Chen, Diana Clark, Kim Allen

2021-11-13 Session 1

• Alignment between the heart, mind, and the body when we are speaking
• Class will offer examples of wise speech
• In the Buddha’s time, speech meant talking to someone. But now we have async communication, social media, etc.
• How to remain mindful as we are speaking
  • 3 dimensions of mindfulness cultivation relevant to wise speech
  • Off-cushion practice
• Multilingual speakers may have diverse relationship with words - differences in emotional connection with e.g. first language vs second language
• Breakout group question: In your experience, what are the internal and external conditions that most support you in being mindful in speech?
  • For me: impatience with myself and others— feeling a sense of urgency, impending doom that something might get screwed up if I don’t say it now!
    • Memories of too many moments unheard
  • Calling this wise communication instead of speech, inclusive of listening
    • (I wonder what the Pali word was for “wise speech”? Does it mean communication?)
  • Physical conditions (hunger, tired)
  • Participant mentioned Insight dialogue - another class similar to Interpersonal Dynamics?
• In Pali, a learned person = “someone who has heard a lot” - listening was the only means by which people learned back then
• The Buddha often reminded people to listen before he speaks
• Important to practice wise listening to ourselves
  • Guided meditation
• A participant shared that when someone speaks to us, it’s a gift

Advice to Rāhula at Ambalaṭṭhikā MN 61

“What do you think, Rāhula? What is the purpose of a mirror?”

“For the purpose of reflection, venerable sir.”

“So too, Rāhula, an action with the body should be done after repeated reflection; an action by speech should be done after repeated reflection; an action by mind should be done after repeated reflection.

On Speech Actions:

“Rāhula, when you wish to do an action by speech, you should reflect upon that same speech action thus: ‘Would this action that I wish to do by speech lead to my own affliction, or to the affliction of others, or to the affliction of both? Is it an unwholesome verbal action with painful consequences, with painful results?’ When you reflect, if you know: ‘This action that I wish to do by speech would lead to my own affliction, or to the affliction of others, or to the affliction of both; it is an unwholesome verbal action with painful consequences, with painful results,’ then you definitely should not do such an action by speech. But when you reflect, if you know: ‘This action that I wish to do by speech would not lead to my own affliction, or to the affliction of others, or to the affliction of both; it is a wholesome verbal action with pleasant consequences, with pleasant results,’ then you may do such an action by speech.

2021-11-16 Session 2

• Participant shared that listening is sometimes hard, and Kim Allen offered that we can potentially internally label it eg. impatience to acknowledge the feeling
• Samma Vaca (pronounced va-cha) - speech was the only form of words back then, so expanded modern interpretation is possible
• Harsh criticism of our own speech as wise or not is ironically not wise speech

Things to think about re: speech:

• Content
• Mode: tone, pace

Things to avoid (but there’s nuance to all of them)

• Outright false
• Harsh speech
• Divisive/slanderous
  • Can be subtle e.g. agreeing with someone else on gossip
• Idle chatter (pali: sampa palapa - onomatopoeia for “blah blah blah”)
  • Chatting about the weather is ok

Breakout group insights

• Spiral method, avoid giving advice, be uplifting
• Example of when I was able to avoid unskillful speech
• I shared that I can avoid unskillful speech if I can fully listen first

Guided meditation

• Understand our relationship with inner speech