Overcome Writer’s Block with Loving-Kindness

Or, how to trick an unwilling mind into mettā practice

Story

I’ve been teaching Write of Passage students how to overcome writer’s block by being kind to themselves. The approach is simultaneously obvious and non-intuitive. Of course we should be kind to ourselves, duh! This is especially true if you are already a Tasshin fan and a practicing Buddhist. Even if you are not, kindness and compassion are common values expressed and desired by other spiritual paths.

But sometimes, kindness practice is perceived as the “slow and soft way.” Or it’s something that we can only do as a dedicated self-care or spiritual practice.

At least that’s how my mind debates with me—there’s no time to be kind to myself when I’m trying to get writing done!

What can one do to proverbially “fight fire with fire?” I decided to turn Māra / the subconscious mind’s reasoning against itself. Instead of seeing kindness as a slow or separate practice, what if it becomes an integral path of getting writing done? This approach also satisfies the striving personality, because one can make progress towards two goals at once—the worldly or conventional goal of writing, and the spiritual goal towards awakening.

Relevant Context

My name is Christin and I’m training as a Buddhist Chaplain at Sati Center under Reverend Jennifer Block, Gil Fronsdal, and Paul Haller Roshi. I used to be a neuroscientist. Through Write of Passage, I developed writing as a form of spiritual practice for myself.

As part of Sati Center’s Buddhist Chaplaincy program, we provide 100 hours of service work towards spiritual care as part of our certification requirements. I chose to teach writing as a path of loving-kindness as a mentor for Write of Passage in October-November 2022. Mentors lead 5 hourlong interactive sessions with students, with breakout rooms to facilitate small-group learning.

Specifics

Writing is a way to befriend our kilesas / difficult emotions

• For some of us, writing can trigger difficult emotions (also known as kilesas in Buddhist practice) and manifest as “writer’s block.” 🧱
• However, difficult emotions are like the heads of a hydra: the more we “slay” them 🤺 the more they pop up! 🐲🐲🐲
• What can we do to deal with difficult emotions and writer’s block?

• Antagonistic framing like “getting rid of” or “overcoming” might mismatch loving-kindness practice. (Sorry, I did use “overcome” to get you to read this post since it’s a common conventional way of thinking. Let’s change that!)
• Instead, the most prolific writers from Write of Passage are those who are kind to themselves and learn to befriend their emotions. 🥰
• Befriend the “hydra” of difficult emotions so that it may serve you in a kind and compassionate way.

👩🏻‍🔬 Science factoid:

• It is challenging for us to notice how “emotions” manifest in the body unless we direct our attention.
• It’s much easier to establish this mind-body connection if we use physical touch to acknowledge and allow the discomfort to be sensed, and then soothed.

🧘🏻‍♀️ Spiritual tidbit:

• Noticing our body is the first step for establishing mindfulness and developing skillful states of mind.
• Then it is typical in Buddhist teachings to use the mindfulness of the body to ground ourselves, so then we can be mindful of our emotions too.
• Together these practices establish a base of calmness that is conducive to the development of kindness and wisdom (satipaṭṭhāna.)

👩🏻‍🔬 Science factoid:

• Sometimes our subconscious mind interferes with our writing process, but we don’t know why.
• We can remedy this by listening to our subconscious mind through journaling while writing.
• Although our subconscious mind does contribute to our self-doubt, it also embeds gems of wisdom about our past and our potential paths for the future.
• These gems can help us incorporate personal experiences in our writing and make it more interesting to read.

🧘🏻‍♀️ Spiritual tidbit:

• Introspection through journaling is a powerful contemplative path.
• Through journaling, we can recognize that our minds operate through deep-seated patterns, and begin to understand and release ourselves from these patterns that cause stress and suffering (dukkha.)

Writing means being our own spiritual friend

• Remember when you last helped a friend out. How did it make you feel? Was it easy? 😊
• We can practice kindness by remembering to be our own encouraging friend when we write, and pivoting away from our critical inner voices.

• Pivot from our inner critical voice by remembering how we talk to friends when we care for them. That’s our kind voice, and one we can use for ourselves too.

• Triage feedback like you would for a friend. With kindness!

Writing means honoring hard-to-name feelings

• Some emotions are hard to name or are quite complex behind-the-scenes. So befriending them can be challenging. (How do you make friends with someone, if you don’t even know their name?) What if we honor them instead, and get to know their “true names”?
• For example, the general sense of fatigue or malaise can have multiple causes. Let’s first address it on the surface level to see if it helps.

• Sometimes our mind “distorts” our sense of time. Recalibrating our sense of “10 min of writing” can help make the act of writing less burdensome.

• Please give yourself the gift of time and space to honor your identity as a writer, with plenty of deliberate rest when you are not writing!

Writing means unveiling disguised feelings

• But sometimes, the feeling of tiredness/drained can be a disguised emotion…🥸

• Tiredness/drained” can represent physiological needs, or hard-to-name inner conflict!
• Here are some words used by Write of Passage students to describe inner conflict:
• Tug of War
• Indecision, self-doubt, second-guessing
• Resistance
• Dissonance
• "two wolves inside me, one wants a cuppa, one wants a chai tea latte"
• Feels like Adam Tank’s Demogorgan is a good name for an internal demon
• Two magnets with the same poles pointing at each other.
• nice tie in bananas
• “Out of integrity”, or “out of alignment”
• Uncalibrated from my Values GPS
• Bicameralism
• The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck is a great book on this topic.
• Something is pushing me away… and I need to sit down with myself and ask myself why that is
• Do you relate? Have no fear!

Inner conflict is an endless source of writing material…and opportunities for kindness practice

• Inner conflict is an endless source of writing material. It is a gift that magnifies its benefits through the giver and the receiver.
• Reflective writing about our inner conflict provides a “flywheel” opportunity for us to practice kindness and compassion, and understanding of ourselves.
• Perhaps a reader can benefit from seeing writing practice in action, or the content might help them with their challenges.
• In a meta-fashion, these lessons and exercises were developed through writing about my own inner conflicts over time.

Writing is about invoking beautiful emotions

• Besides befriending difficult emotions, we can also invoke beautiful emotions like encouragement, energy, courage, and aspiration.
• The Buddha used the word kalyāṇa to describe qualities that are conducive to spiritual awakening—it means beautiful! The idea is that instead of thinking good/bad yes/no success/failure, we can think in terms of beauty. Beautify is a subjective and supportive quality.

• Students noted it is more challenging to “receive” encouragement for themselves compared to giving. This is true for me too, so don’t feel bad if you found it hard to receive encouragement.
• One supportive skill we can practice is to turn the encouragement we give to others to ourselves first. I bet you are a kind person who gives out encouragement every day to others, so there’s plenty of opportunity to practice. 😊
• In Zen practice, giving and receiving are the same. Perhaps that is an ideal we can all aspire towards.

Optimizing your writing system for beautiful emotions

• I believe you are all fantastic storytellers. Instead, the question is…how can we let the stories flow out of you?
• The “blockage” for writing is sometimes because we need to optimize for:
• Available energy levels: we all fluctuate in the amount of energy available to us every day
• Courage/vulnerability: how can we share our inner world, while being appropriative protective of ourselves?
• Aspiration: sometimes we want to write to understandg our inner world, and sometimes for “outer world” goals like audience building, or providing expertise. How can we serve either, or both types of objectives?
• Give yourself a variety of places to write (in terms of energy required, vulnerability levels, and aspiration) so you will always have a place to share your story.

• Here’s an example from my life…note my newsletter is what I consistently publish on Sundays, and the rest vary depending on…these variables!

• You DON’T have to publish in ALL the places you can think of! They are options, not mandates.
• I hope these considerations can help you think of new ways to share yourself with others, for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Conclusion…and another story

I hope this post encourages you to see loving-kindness as a key ally to the awakening process. The framing is a bit of a “cheat” (perhaps skillful means?) Like I mentioned in the beginning, one way to assuage Māra / the subconscious mind is to develop strategies to meet worldly/conventional goals with kindness, so that we may achieve our spiritual goals too. However, this might be “skillful means” or a “raft”—the ultimate goal is to let go of our conventional goals, and eventually, even our spiritual goals. Enlightenment is the ultimate letting go.

Also, while I’m much kinder to myself when it comes to the writing process, Māra’s stronghold on me has shifted towards entrepreneurship. It’s challenging for me to be kind to myself when I’m building a business, so I have not lost sight as to how difficult it would be for a writer. I am here for you as a spiritual friend, so we may all become enlightened through the gradual, kind path.

🏕️

To serve you long-term, I’ve developed Kind Camp ❤️‍🔥🏕️ as an offering.

Kind Camp ❤️‍🔥🏕️

Write effortlessly every week with kindness practiceDevelop a self-sustaining writing systemGain clarity on your personal missionBe rooted in kindness and compassionWho Is This For?You might want an easier time publishing consistently, with kindness and encouragement.You think you found your personal monopoly/mission, but you're not quite sure.

christinchong.gumroad.com

Further resources

I used smile.amazon.com links below so any referral proceeds will support your charity of choice.

Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within

Amazon.com: Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within: 9781611803082: Goldberg, Natalie, Cameron, Julia: Books

smile.amazon.com

Writing Down the Bones was the first book that taught me how writing can be a form of Zen practice. Natalie Goldberg’s own spiritual journey is raw, vulerable, and inspiring.

The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [Cameron, Julia] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

smile.amazon.com

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron is famous for its recommendation of morning pages practice (writing 3 pages a day, first thing in the morning.) What is perhaps less-known is the recovery framework on how to heal your inner artist/creator/writer based on self-compassion. I am very much inspired by Julia Cameron, and learned about her wisdom from my friend Ken Rice.

End with Love

• Thank you to Write of Passage students and friends who have shared their hearts in our mentor sessions together.
• Thank you to everyone who has ever tried to be kind to themselves and others, through writing or other means.
• May this post be of benefit to all who suffer from writer’s block.
• May all beings embody mettā for the benefit of the world.

Colophon

I followed Tasshin’s framework for an Informative Blog Post:

• Start with a story: stories inspire people, making it personal and relevant.
• Relevant context: frame the relevant context in an approachable and interesting way—like a Wikipedia or encyclopedia article, but more personable and friendly, opinionated.
• Give specifics: include specific things to try, starting routines, exercises, etc.
• Curate further resources: make a list of recommended reading or other resources, pointing the reader to places they can turn to for more information should they wish to continue their journey exploring the topic.
• End with love: it turns out a little loving kindness is a good way to conclude a blog post.

An Evolving Essay:

• This is a first draft submission! I believe that there is always a place for editing and incorporating feedback, yet one does not need to be impeded from publishing an unpolished draft. As my friend Fei-Ling Tseng quips, “don’t create, document.” Complementary to this advice, my own mantra for writing is to “aim for true instead of good.”
• I received feedback from Foster.co contributors and plan to implement them soon!